Seeing the Person Before the Category
Categories help us navigate complexity.
They allow us to recognise patterns, organise information, and make sense of large social worlds. Without categories, understanding would be slow and often impossible.
But categories are not people.
When categories arrive before the person, something essential is missed.
The Order of Encounter
There is an order in which understanding can unfold.
We may encounter a category first—through language, habit, or assumption—but we do not have to remain there. Encounter can move forward. It can deepen.
Seeing the person before the category does not require denying categories altogether. It requires refusing to let them be the final lens.
A person is not an example.
A life is not a case.
Presence is not evidence.
When the order is reversed—when the category becomes primary—people are reduced to representatives rather than recognised as individuals.
How Categories Take Over
Categories simplify interaction.
They allow us to predict, prepare, and position ourselves quickly. This efficiency is tempting, especially in environments where time and attention are limited.
But efficiency comes at a cost.
When categories dominate perception, listening becomes selective. Details that do not fit the expected pattern are overlooked. Complexity is filtered out.
The person remains partially unseen—not because of hostility, but because of habit.
The Subtle Violence of Reduction
Reduction is rarely dramatic.
It happens quietly, through shorthand. Through phrases like “people like this” or “that kind of person.” Through expectations formed before conversation begins.
This reduction is not always intentional. Often, it is inherited—passed down through language and social cues.
Yet its effect is cumulative.
People begin to experience interactions as constrained, predictable, and incomplete. They sense that they are being met as a category rather than encountered as themselves.
Over time, this erodes trust.
Encounter Requires Presence
Seeing the person requires presence.
Presence means staying with what is being said rather than anticipating where it fits. It means allowing contradiction, inconsistency, and change.
People do not remain the same across contexts. They shift between roles, moods, and perspectives. Categories struggle to accommodate this movement.
Presence can.
When presence replaces projection, interaction becomes less efficient—but more accurate.
The Temptation to Know in Advance
There is comfort in believing we already understand.
Categories offer this comfort. They promise familiarity without effort. They reduce uncertainty.
But certainty achieved too quickly is often misplaced.
Knowing in advance closes the possibility of discovery. It limits what can be learned from the encounter itself.
Seeing the person before the category requires accepting uncertainty—not knowing what the person will say, how they will respond, or what they might reveal.
This uncertainty is not a weakness. It is openness.
When Categories Are Useful—and When They Are Not
Categories have their place.
They help us identify structural patterns, historical trends, and collective experiences. They are essential for understanding systems.
But systems are not people.
When categories designed for analysis are used for encounter, they misfire. What works at scale often fails at the level of the individual.
The skill lies in knowing when to shift lenses—when to move from category to person.
The Cost of Not Being Seen
Not being seen fully is exhausting.
When people sense that others are responding to a category rather than to them, they begin to self-edit. They choose words carefully, avoid certain topics, or withdraw altogether.
This is not always conscious. It is adaptive.
But adaptation comes with a cost: diminished ease, reduced honesty, and a thinning of shared life.
Seeing the person restores some of what is lost.
Small Acts of Recognition
Seeing the person does not require grand gestures.
It happens through small acts:
- Listening without interruption
- Asking without assuming
- Allowing someone to define themselves, or not define themselves at all
These acts do not erase difference. They humanise it.
They signal that the person is not required to stand in for anything beyond themselves.
A Closing Reflection
Categories will always exist.
They are part of how societies understand themselves. But they need not dominate every encounter.
Seeing the person before the category is not a demand. It is a choice—made moment by moment.
When this choice is made, something subtle shifts. Interaction slows. Attention deepens. Difference becomes less abstract.
And in that space, shared life becomes possible—not because categories disappear, but because they no longer stand in the way.